Love Stories

Jeremy and I have had the pleasure of forming wonderful friendships with a handful of couples at our church over the last 9 months.  At a summer BBQ, our conversation with these new friends settled on how spouses met.  After listening to sweet and funny stories of new attraction, Jeremy and I were asked how we met.  Our story seems rather simple and very appropriate for a Christian gathering: we attended the same Bible study.  The most scandalous element is that I thought he was pretty hot, and he thought I was pretty.  We didn’t “hook up”, as they say, until almost 9 months after that first meeting. 

What is a lesser known, though far richer, story is how we broke up. 

To put these events in context, I must back up in the story a bit.  I transferred to Pacific Lutheran University in 2001 lonely, depressed, and feeling like everything I had confidence in was shattered.  My life was not turning out how I had expected in high school, and I was dealing with a myriad of personal issues.  I was attempting a fresh start with my move to Washington without knowing how to let go of all the pain I carried with me.  For two years I wrestled with my past unsuccessfully.  When Jeremy proposed, I thought our engagement would somehow, magically, fix all of my problems.

That’s not what happened. 

Shortly after he proposed, I returned to California to visit my family.  Realizing being engaged did nothing to take away the pain and loss I was feeling, I gave up hoping that I would ever have joy and peace again.  I melted down in a big way!  I hooked up with people I had no business spending time with.  I tried to drink the pain away.  After a couple of weeks of spiraling downward, I stopped wearing my engagement ring and avoided calling Jeremy.  I was ashamed of my behavior.  I didn’t know how I could ever have joy or life again.  Jeremy deserved way better.  About two months after I accepted his proposal, I called the whole thing off.  The wedding.  Our relationship.  Everything.

I looked ahead to a life without purpose, meaning, joy, fulfillment, or hope.

Jeremy looked to something different.  He gathered our friends and family around him, and they prayed.  For a few days, they prayed.  Jeremy also called repeatedly and sent flowers.  I mostly ignored him and wondered why he insisted on being bound to such a mess.  After a couple of days of phone calls and the arrival of a beautiful bouquet, I decided that he, at least, deserved a returned call.  I stayed at home one evening, determined to make him understand that he deserved far better than me, and dialed his number.

Strangely, he didn’t want to hear anything I had to say.  He told me that I needed to stop and listen.  He spoke to me of love - not his love for me, but God’s.  He told me how important I was to God and that God had amazing plans for my life - plans that brought life and not destruction, death, and hopelessness.  I don’t know how long he reminded me of God’s intense and specific love for me, but something amazing happened while he spoke.  Cliché as it sounds, the events of my life flashed before my eyes.  I saw my life, and the people who were in it, in a new light.  I saw so many ways that God had showed me love and that there was a purpose for my existence.  Hope was sparked, and I knew that there was a better way to live.

I think our story is quite romantic.  I gave Jeremy every reason to walk away from me, and he would have been justified.  What he did showed me more love than I had ever experienced in life.  He showed grace, patience, and mercy, and he saved my life.  I smile every time I think of his selfless act.

Still, there is a far greater story interwoven throughout the one I’ve just told.  The only reason Jeremy’s words were effective is that they were grounded in what Jesus did for us.  We, as humanity, were a mess.  We refused the wonderful plans our Heavenly Father had for us.  We turned our backs on Him and decided we knew better about this world and our lives.  We rejected Jesus when He came to us.  Yet, He willingly gave His life on the cross to save us from our sins and bring us lives of health, wisdom, and blessing.  Think His sacrifice somehow doesn’t apply to your sins because His death and resurrection happened so many years ago?  It does!  The Bible says Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever!  (Hebrews 13:8) If Jesus arrived on this earth for the first time today, He would surrender his life as the sacrifice to cover your sins (John 3:16). 

Jesus knew that you would turn away from God’s wonderful plan for your life.  He knew that you wouldn’t want anything to do with Him.  He still loved you so much that He was willing to suffer and die so that you could be free and have life (John 10:10).  Know that He loves you.  Rest in His love for you and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in walking out the plans He has for you.  You are loved!